From the Rav’s Desk: 1) Breaking plates by Lechaim if parents not present; 2) Listening to daughter sing

  1. Question: [Tuesday, 9th Mar Cheshvan, 5781]

Should the plates be broken by a Lechaim even if the parents are not present? Due to covid, we are having a young peoples only engagement celebration and neither mine or her parents will be present. What should we do about breaking the plate?



The plate is to be broken specifically at the engagement party as a sign of mourning by another delegated individual, such as a female friend or relative of the Chasan’s side and a female friend or relative of the Kallahs side. It can also be done by two males or even a single male, but should not be done by a male and female together due to reasons of Tzenius.

Sources: See Rama O.C. 560:2; E.H. 65:3; Elya Raba 560:7; P”M 560 M”Z 4; Shaareiy Teshuvah 560:3; Aruch Hashulchan E.H. 50:26; Shulchan Haezer p. 52a; Nitei Gavriel Shidduchin 32:1-5 footnotes 4-5

  1. Question: [Tuesday, 9th Mar Cheshvan, 5781]

Shalom Rabbi Goldstein, 


Is it permitted for a father to hear his wife or his daughter sing?



Wife: Yes with exception to times of Davening or Torah learning, unless is Nida

Daughter: Debate if permitted by adult daughter during Davening/learning. Seemingly outside of this time is permitted, assuming it does not cause any forbidden thoughts, just as hugging an adult daughter is permitted. Certainly, it is permitted by a daughter who is still a child.

Sources: See here: and here

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