Table of Contents
Minhagei Yartzite for Tzadikim Applicable for Yud Shvat and Gimel Tamuz
From a letter of the Rebbe printed in Igros Kodesh 4:143
- Aliyah:
On the Shabbos prior to the Yarzeit, each Chassid should attempt to receive an Aliyah to the Torah.[1]
Not enough Aliyos: If there are not enough Aliyos available, the Torah should be read [a number of times] in different rooms. No additions are to be made to the number of Aliyos at each reading.[2]
Maftir: Maftir should be given to the most respected congregant.
- Leading the prayers:
A Chazan is to be chosen to lead the Davening on the day of the Yartzite.[3] It is proper to choose one Chazan for Maariv, a second for Shacharis, and a third for Mincha. In this way, a greater number of Anash will have the privilege.
Five candles:[4] Five candles should be lit by the Amud during the Davening. [Some are accustomed to light five 24-hour candles.[5] The candles are placed in front of, or near, the Chazan.]
- Yartzite candle:
A Yartzite candle should be lit that will burn throughout the twenty-four hours.[6] If possible, the candle should be of beeswax.[7] [The candle should be lit immediately after sunset [on Shabbos, after Havdala].[8] Upon lighting the candle many are accustomed to say that it is being lit “Leiluiy Nishmas Peloni [i.e. name of deceased] Ben Peloni [i.e. name of father of deceased].”[9] After the Yartzite concludes, many are accustomed not to extinguish the candle, but rather let it go out on its own.[10]]
- Mishnayis and Kaddish after davening:[11]
After each Davening of Maariv, Shacharis [after Tehillim] and Mincha, the Chazan should study (or at least conclude) ch. 24 of Mishnayos Keilim and ch. 7 of Mishnayos Mikvaos. He should then recite the Mishnah beginning “Rabbi Chananyah ben Akashya…,” followed silently by a few lines of Tanya and Kaddish deRabbanan.
- Study of Basi Legani on Yud Shevat [or Ata Titzaveh on Gimel Tamuz]:
After Maariv, part of the Mamar of Basi LeGani 5710 should be recited from memory. If there is no one to do this from memory, it should be studied from the text. This should also be done after Shacharis, and the Mamar should be concluded after Mincha.
- Chapter of Tanya before Shacharis and after Mincha:
Before Shacharis, a chapter of Tanya should be studied. This should also be done after Minchah.
- Charity:
In the morning, before Shacharis, charity should be given to those institutions that are related to the Rebbe. Donations should be made on behalf of oneself and on behalf of each member of one’s family. The same should be done before Minchah.
- Pan:[12]
After Shacharis and the recitation of the Mamar, each individual should read a Pidyon Nefesh. A Gartel is worn during the reading. Those who had the privilege of entering for Yechidus, or of seeing the Rebbe’s face, should picture themselves as standing before him while reading the Pidyon Nefesh. The Pidyon Nefesh should then be placed between the pages of a Maamar of his teachings, and sent, if possible, on the same day, to be read at his graveside.
Visiting the Tziyon of the Tzadik:[13] It is customary to visit the resting place of the Tzadik on the day of the Yartizte. Thus, those in the area are to visit the resting place of the Rebbe Rayatz on the 10th of Shevat and that of the Rebbe’s on the 3rd of Tamuz. Checklist upon visiting a gravesite: § One is not to eat any food prior to visiting a grave site. Nevertheless, one is to be particular to drink before visiting. § One who is impure due to nocturnal emission [Keri], or any release of seed, may not visit a cemetery until he immerses in a Mikveh. § One who has not visited a cemetery [in thirty days] is to recite the following blessing upon seeing it: ברוך אתה יי אלקינו מלך העולם אשר יצר אתכם בדין וזן אתכם בדין וכלכל אתכם בדין והמית אתכם בדין ויודע מספר כלכם והוא עתיד להחיותכם ולקיים אתכם בדין: ברוך אתה יי מחייה המתים: [14] § One is to distribute charity at the gravesite [prior to Davening there]. § At the grave of a Tzaddik one is to pray to Hashem to answer his prayers in the merit of the Tzaddikim. Likewise, one may ask the Tzaddik to intervene on one’s behalf and pray to G-d for the matters which he needs. It is customary to recite a compilation of Psalm’s and prayers assembled in the booklet entitled “Maanah Lashon” upon visiting a gravesite of a Tzaddik.[15] It is likewise customary to write a Pa”n and read it by the Ohel, tearing it upon concluding its reading and placing it near the burial site. It is best to read the Pa”n towards the area of the Tzaddik’s holy feet. If there are two Tzaddikim buried adjacent to each other then it is to be read in between the graves by the feet. § One may not enter a cemetery with Tzitzis that are revealed to the open. Thus one is to stick his Tzitzis into his pants prior to entering into the cemetery. § It is customary to light a candle by the Kever.[16] § Although it is forbidden to Daven, learn Torah, or wear Tallis and Tefillin, within four Amos of a Kever, nevertheless, the custom is to permit reciting Tehillim and learn Mishnayos near the grave in his memory. See Chapter ?? Halacha ??! § Many have the custom of encircling the grave. The Rebbe would circle the grave one time prior to leaving. § Many are accustomed to place a hand on the grave upon praying [see next regarding Hishtatchus]. One is to place specifically his left hand on the grave. § One is to wash one’s hands three times inconsecutively after leaving the cemetery. One is to wash his hands prior to entering into a house. The custom is not to dry the hands upon leaving. § Some are accustomed to throw grass or earth behind their back after leaving a cemetery. |
- Mishnayos in Rebbes name:
In the course of the day one should study chapters of Mishnayos that begin with the letters of his name.[17]
The details: One studies one chapter of Mishnayos per letter, choosing those chapters that begin with the letters of the name. For example, if the name if אברהם then one begins with a chapter that begins with an א and then continues with a chapter that begins with a ב and so on and so forth. In the event that there are two of the same letters in the name one is nevertheless to study a full chapter for each letter. However, it is not necessary to study different chapters for each repeated letter, and one may repeat the study of the same chapter.[18] The main focus of the learning of Mishnayos should be in understanding their content and not to achieve a certain quantity of learning. This applies even if one will not be able to complete the chapters which correspond to the letters of the Niftar on the day of the Yartzite.[19]] When:[20] The chapters of Mishnayos that corresponds to the name of the Niftar can be studied throughout the 24 hours of the Yartzite. The name of the parent:[21] When learning Mishnayos in accordance to the letters of the name of the deceased, one studies only in correspondence the name of the deceased and not the name of his parent. Prayer after Mishnayos:[22] It is not the custom amongst Chabad Chassidim to recite the accustomed prayer printed in Siddurim after the recital of Mishnayos.
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- Farbrengen:
In the course of the day one should participate in a Chassidic gathering.
- Relate to friends and family:
In the course of the day, one should set aside a time during which to tell one’s family about the saintly Rebbe, and about the spiritual tasks at which he toiled throughout all the days of his life.
- Teach others about the day:
In the course of the day, people (to whom this task is appropriate) should visit Shul’s and Batei Midrash in their cities and cite a statement from the teachings of the saintly Rebbe. They should explain how he loved every Jew. [Furthermore,] they should make known and explain the practice that he instituted of reciting Tehillim every day, studying the daily portion of Chumash with the commentary of Rashi, and, where appropriate, studying the Tanya as he divided it into daily readings throughout the year. If possible, this should all be done in the course of a farbrengen. In the course of the day, people (who are fit for the task) should visit centers of observant youth, and, those who are not yet observant, in order to explain to them the warm love that the saintly Rebbe constantly had for them. It should be explained to these people what he expected of them; they should be told of the hope and the trust that he placed in them, that they would ultimately fulfill their task of strengthening the observance of Judaism and disseminating the study of Torah with all the energy, warmth and vitality that characterize youth.
[1] See regarding Yartzite of a parent: Birkeiy Yosef 284:1; Shaareiy Efraim 9:42; Kitzur SHU”A 78:11; Kaf Hachaim 284:6; Ketzos Hashulchan 88:1; Sefer Haminhagim p. 181 [English]; Halacha 3C!
[2] See Admur 282:1-3; Tzemach Tzedek 35; Ketzos Hashulchan 84:1; Sefer Haminhagim p. 61 [English]
[3] See Rama 376:4 regarding Yartzite of a parent; Halacha 7B!
[4] See Sefer Haminhagim p. 181 [English]; Sefer Hamamarim 5708 p. 146; Igros Kodesh 16:12; Toras Menachem 2 p. 125; Sefer Haminhagim p. 19 [English]; Shulchan Menachem 5:163; Halacha 7C!
[5] Custom of Rabbeim and some Chassidim, as explained below; See Shaareiy Teshuvah 154:20 and M”B 154:56 that it was accustomed to light a 24 hour candle in Shul on the day of the Yartzite
Custom of Rabbeim to light five 24 hour candles: The custom of the Rebbeim was to light five 24 hour candles in Shul by the Amud for the day of the Yartzite. [So was custom of Rebbe Rayatz and Rebbe Rashab, as brought in Reshimos 183:11 and so was the custom of the Rebbe, as related to me by Rabbi Leibal Groner;] This is despite the fact that Sefer Haminhagim ibid clearly writes to have it lit at the time of Davening. Rabbi Groner concluded to me that “There are many chassidim that do the same thing. Each one should do according to their feeling.”
[6] See regarding Yartzite of a parent: Admur 261:2; M”A 261:6; Shut Rashal 46; Nachalas Shiva 38; Kesav Sofer 75; Kitzur SHU”A 221:1; Biur Halacha 514:5 “Neir”; Mishmeres Shalom Yud 16; Kaf Hachaim 514:79; Gesher Hachaim 32:4; Nitei Gavriel 71:6; chapter 75; Sefer Haminhagim p. 180; Halacha 5!
[7] See Sefer Haminahgim p. 166; Nitei Gavriel 75:8
[8] Sefer Haminhgaim p. 180 [English]
[9] Torah Leshma 520
[10] Moed Lekol Chaiy 3; Nitei Gavriel 75:1; See Admur 610:8; Rama 610:4 regarding Yom Kippur candle
[11] See Sefer Haminhagim p. 36; Glosses of Rebbe to Sefer Hamamarim 1949 p. 74 and 1950 p. 6; Igros Kodesh 11:33 [published in Shulchan Menachem 5:301]
[12] See Minchas Yitzchak 8:53; Nitei Gavrile 90:7
[13] Interestingly, this custom was not directly recorded in the above-mentioned letter of the Rebbe
[14] The following additional Nussach is added in Maaneh Lashon:
אתה גיבור לעולם אדני, מחיה מתים אתה, רב להושיע מכלכל חיים בחסד מחיה מתים ברחמים רבים, סומך נופלים, ורופא חולים, ומתיר אסורים, ומקים אמונתו לישני עפר. מי כמוך בעל גבורות ומי דומה לך, מלך ממית ומחייה ומצמיח ישועה: ונאמן אתה להחיות מתים.
[15] One can download a PDF of the Chabad Maaneh Lashon [Kehos 2000] at: www.hebrewbooks.org:15693
[16] Betzel Hachochmah 4:29; Nitei Gavriel 76:6
[17] See Yaavetz in Siddur Beis Yaakov Emek Habacha page 402; See Igros Kodesh Igros Kodesh 17:271 that the effects of learning Mishnayos according to the name is very different than the learning of Mishnayos in accordance to the Seder; See Halacha 10!
[18] Igros Kodesh 17:271, printed in Shulchan Menachem 5:313
[19] Nitei Gavriel 71:14
[20] Sefer Haminhagim p. 77; Igros Kodesh 3:128 [brought in Shulchan Menachem 5:322]
[21] Mishmeres Shalom Lamed 24; Igros Kodesh 17:271, printed in Shulchan Menachem 5:313; Nitei Gavriel 64:4
Other customs: Some are accustomed to also recite the chapters that correspond to the parents name. [Nitei Gavriel ibid]
[22] Igros Kodesh 19:214, printed in Shulchan Menachem 5:314
Tachanun on Gimel Tamuz
- Question: [Sunday, 3rd Tammuz, 5781]
Should one recite Tachanun on the day of Gimmel Tamuz?
Answer:
Those who feel an abundance of joy on this day in commemoration of the release of the previous Rebbe from a decree of “opposite of life,” may omit the saying of Tachanun, as is customary on all “Chag Hageula” of the Rabbeim, such as on Yud Kisleiv, Yud Tes Kisleiv, and Yud Beis Tammuz. However, those who do not have an abundance of feelings of joy for this commemoration, are to recite it as usual. This follows the general custom of Chabad to recite Tachanun on days that commemorate the passing of a Tzadik, unlike Polisher Chassidim who omit Tachanun on the day of the passing of a Tzadik. Thus, in a minyan, seemingly the Chazan should recite Tachanun as usual, and those who feel a true abundance of joy may omit Tachanun and not say it together with the congregation. Nonetheless, they are to stand and say the 13 attributes of mercy together with the congregation, as is the law.
Explanation: The day of Gimel Tamuz is omitted from Hayom Yom and Sefer Haminhagim as part of the list of days that Chabad Chassidim omit Tachanun, which would seem to imply that it is to be recited, and so was indeed the custom by the Rebbe’s minyan. Nonetheless, many Chassidim, especially those who lived in the times of the Rebbe Rayatz such as Rav Mendel Futerfast, Reb Peretz Muchkin, and others, would omit Tachanun. When the Rebbe was addressed this very question in 1988 as to whether Tachanun should be omitted on Gimel Tammuz and Chaiy Elul, the Rebbe be answered that the matter is dependent on one’s feeling, and if one is asking then it is a sign that the feeling is not there. Practically, this seems to imply as above, the matter is subject to each person on a personal and individual level, and no general directives can be given.
Sources: See Heichal Menachem Vol. 3 p. 47 for the Maaneh of the Rebbe; Hiskashrus 840; Otzer Minhagei Chabad p. 21-22; Obviously this refers to a true feeling of joy and not a feeling that simply comes as a result of reading this response. [Otzer ibid] See regarding the general custom of omitting Tachanun on a day on which a miracle took place: Lev Chaim 150; Kaf Hachaim 218/9; Tzitz Eliezer 10/10; Regarding saying the Yud Gimel Midos together with the Minyan, see: See Halef Lecha Shlomo 44; Tehila Ledavid 66:7; Sheivet Halevi 7:12; Igros Moshe 3:89; Yabia Omer 4:8; Piskeiy Teshuvos 131:9; See Sheivet Halevy 9:1; Kinyan Torah 4:9
Q&A's on visiting Ohel
How to ask for requests by a gravesite:
At the grave of a Tzaddik, one is to pray to Hashem to answer his prayers in the merit of the Tzaddikim.[1] Likewise one may ask the Tzaddik to intervene on one’s behalf and pray to G-d for the matters which he needs.[2]
[1] Bach Y.D. 217 “One may Daven by the grave of one’s forefathers to be saved from punishment in their merit”; Drashos Maharil; Elya Raba 581:39; Machatzis Hashekel 581:16; M”B 581:27;
Other Opinions: The Ritva writes that one is not to Daven inside a cemetery due to the prohibition of Loeg Larash and rather he is to Daven outside the cemetery. [Machazik Bracha 581:7; Kaf Hachaim 581:91]
[2] Peri Megadim 581:16 based on the prayers found in the Maaneh Lashon; Kaf Hachaim 581:95 and 98 based on Shlah; Minchas Elazar 1:68 [brings many proofs from Midrashim; Talmud; Zohar]; Alef Hamagen 581:113; Minchas Yitzchak 8:53; Piskeiy Teshuvos 581:21; See Maharam Shick 293 for a list of opinions on this matter; See Taanis 16a “So they arouse mercy on our behalf”; Sefer Chassidim 450 “In addition, when asked, the souls in heaven pray on behalf of those alive.”; Zohar Terumah p. 141b; Nitei Gavriel 86:14
Other Opinions: Some Poskim are of the opinion that it is forbidden to ask the Tzaddik to intervene on ones behalf due to Doresh El Hameisim and one may only pray to Hashem in the merit of the Tzaddik. [See Drashos Maharil; Elya Raba 581:39; Levush 579; Machatzis Hashekel 581:16; M”E 581:50; M”B 581:27; Kitzur SHU”A 128:13 which writes one is not to place his focus on the Tzaddik. See also Bach Y.D. 217 “One may Daven by the grave of one’s forefathers to be saved from punishment in their merit”
Nidda-May a woman visit a cemetery when she is menstruating?[1]
It is customary for women to avoid visiting a cemetery during the days that they are a Nidda.[2] Some Poskim[3] rule this applies even during the seven clean days, until she immerses in a Mikveh. Other Poskim[4], however, rule it only applies during the actual flow and hence she may visit a gravesite during the seven clean days [as well as single girls may visit at all times that she is not actively menstruating[5]]. Practically a woman may be lenient in a time of need to go during her clean days.[6] Furthermore, if not going will cause her great distress then she may be lenient even when seeing the actual flow.[7] Nevertheless, in such a case it is best for her to stand four Amos away from the Kever.[8] Based on above, a woman may be lenient to visit the Kever in the following instances, even while menstruating: 1) Yahrzeit of her parents, or Hakamas Matzeiva.[9] 2) She is leaving town and not returning for a while.[10]
Does the above custom apply even to Kivrei Tzaddikim?[11] Some Poskim[12] write that the above custom to abstain from visiting a cemetery during Nidda times applies even to Kivrei Tzaddikim. Other Poskim[13], however, rule it does not apply to Kivrei Tzaddikim. Practically, many women are accustomed to only be stringent during the actual flow and not during the seven clean days [or by a single girl when she is not having her flow].[14] This is the widespread custom followed by women regarding going on Lag Baomer to Meiron, that they are only stringent when seeing the actual flow.[15]
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[1] See Taharah Kehalacha 14:129; Nitei Gavriel Aveilus Vol. 2 84; Piskeiy Teshuvos 88:9
[2] Pischeiy Teshuvah Y.D. 195:19 in name of Chamudei Daniel; Chayeh Adam 3:38; Aruch Hashulchan 195:28; Kaf Hachaim 88:12; Kitzur Dinei Taharah 3:25
The reason: This is due to the impurity found in a cemetery which can attach itself to the woman during Nidda. [Peri Hasadeh 4:94] See Hakdama of Shut Mahram Shick for a frightening episode that occurred with the daughter of the Mahram Shick when she visited her mother’s grave despite being a Nidda, and against the wishes of her father. The Mahram Shick testifies that he had to use G-d’s holy names in order to save her from damage.
Dam Besulin: A Kallah may visit a cemetery when she is seeing blood of Dam Besulin. [See Divrei Moshe 1:54]
Dam Tohar: A woman after birth may go to a cemetery when seeing Dam Tohar [after her first Mikveh, before 40/80 days pass from birth of boy/girl]. [See Daas Torah 88]
[3] Chayeh Adam 3:38; M”B 88:7; Kaf Hachaim 88:12; Shiureiy Shevet Halevy p. 274; Piskeiy Teshuvos ibid; See Nitei Gavriel ibid who also brings from: Tirosh Veyitzhar 146; Taharas Yisrael 195:51; Kneses Yechezkal Sefaradi “Nun” 89; Maharam Shick in Hakdama.
[4] Shulchan Melachim Dinei Nidda Veyoledes 5 [p. 35]; Peri Hasadeh 4:93 [questions Chayeh Adam]; Taharah Kehalacha ibid footnote 279; See Nitei Gavriel ibid that also brings from: Chemdas Moshe 62; Leket Hakemach 88; Beir Mordechai 195; Divrei Shalom 4:154; Poskim brought in Piskeiy Teshuvos ibid footnote 73 and that so is Minhag Yerushalayim
[5] See Shulchan Melachim ibid “As otherwise any single girl or woman, whether she is still a Besula or is widowed or divorced will never be able to go to a cemetery”
[6] Shiureiy Shevet Halevi p. 274; Taharah Kehalacha ibid; Piskeiy Teshuvos ibid
[7] Daas Torah 88 in name of Chemdas Moshe 62; Shulchan Melachim Dinei Nidda Veyoledes 5 [p. 35]; Nitei Gavriel ibid; Taharah Kehalacha ibid
[8] Shiureiy Shevet Halevi ibid; Nitei Gavriel ibid; Taharah Kehalacha ibid; Piskeiy Teshuvos ibid
[9] Shulchan Melachim ibid; Nitei Gavriel ibid; Taharah Kehalacha
[10] Shulchan Melachim ibid; See Orchos Chaim 88 in name of Maharsham, brought in Piskeiy Teshuvos ibid footnote 76
[11] Taharah Kehalacha 14:130
[12] Chibas Yerushalayim Mamar “Ranenu Tzaddikim” 3, brought in Taharah Kehalacha ibid footnote 283; See Nitei Gavriel ibid that also brings from: Kneses Yechezkal Sefaradi “Nun” 89 that in Bagdad the custom was to avoid visiting Kivrei Tzaddikim until they went to Mikveh; Piskeiy Teshuvos ibid that so was directive of Chida regarding Kever Rashbi
[13] Beir Mordechai in name of Asher Ledavid p. 35, brought in Taharah Kehalacha ibid footnote 283
[14] Taharah Kehalacha ibid; I was told by Rav Moshe Y. L. Landau, chief Rabbi of Bnei Brak, that practically this is the custom a woman is to follow and hence they are not to go to the Ohel when seeing an actual flow, but they may go during the other days.
[15] Taharah Kehalacha ibid in name of “Elderly women of prestige families” in Yerushalayim.
Pregnant wife of Kohen and other pregnant women visiting cemeteries:[1]
Not married to Kohen: From the letter of the law, it is permitted for a pregnant woman to enter a cemetery.[2] However, many women are accustomed not to visit a cemetery when they are pregnant.[3] Those who have received such a custom are to abide by it.[4] However, it is permitted for them to visit the grave of a Tzaddik, or the grave of a loved one, on the day of the Yahrzeit and the like.[5] Many women are lenient in all cases, as is the letter of the law.[6]
Wife of a Kohen: It is permitted for the pregnant wife of a Kohen to enter a cemetery.[7] Nonetheless, some Poskim[8] rule it is proper to be stringent not to do so [even on a Yahrzeit or by Kivrei Tzaddikim]. This especially applies if she knows that the gender of the child is male[9] or she is at the end of her term and is ready for birth.[10] Nevertheless, even in such a case, most Poskim rule it is allowed from the letter of the law.[11]
[1] Minchas Yitzchak 10:42; Nitei Gavriel Aveilus 2:84-4
[2] Pashut as there is no source for forbidding it, and so is proved from the fact the Poskim [below] bring that even the wife of a Kohen that is pregnant may enter a cemetery, and as writes the Kneses Hagedola [brought in Birkeiy Yosef 343:4] that even by the pregnant wife of a Kohen those who are stringent are doing Minhag Borus [custom of ignorance], hence certainly the wife of a Yisrael is allowed.
[3] This custom has no known source. A number of possible reasons are suggested: 1) Perhaps this is due to the fact that it is proper for the pregnant wife of a Kohen to avoid a cemetery, and hence we see that the fetus can receive impurity. Now since we await the rebuilding of the Temple every day the women avoid going to a cemetery, as if the Temple is rebuilt while they are still pregnant they will be able to give over their pure sons to perform the necessary actions required for the Para Aduma. [Minchas Yitzchak ibid; See Parah Mishneh 3:2] 2) Alternatively, it is because they desire to avoid any impurity during the pregnancy. [Nitei Gavriel ibid; See Sheivet Hamussar 24]
[4] Poskim ibid based on Rashba that we do not differ a tradition received from righteous women even if we have 600,000 proofs against it. [brought in Heishiv Moshe 13]
[5] Nitei Gavriel ibid
[6] Heard from Rav Asher Lemel Hakohen
[7] Shach Y.D. 371:1; Rokeiach 366; M”A 343:2; Radbaz 200; Kneses Hagedola [brought in Birkeiy Yosef 343:4-there he writes it’s a Minhag Borus to be stringent] Derech Hachaim; Chochmas Adam 160:1; Kitzur SHU”A 202:15; M”B 343:3; See Pischeiy Teshuvah 371:1; Gilyon Maharsha 371; Darkei Chesed p. 208
The reason: As there is a Safek Sfeika; perhaps the fetus is a female and perhaps it will be a stillborn. [Shach ibid; Rokeiach ibid] Alternatively a fetus cannot receive impurity as it is considered within a Beis Hablia. [M”A ibid; Radbaz 200, brought in Shaareiy Teshuvah 371:1; See there that even the Rokeiach agrees to this.] Others however argue that a fetus is considered part of the mother [Yerech Imo] and hence can contract impurity even during pregnancy. [Birkeiy Yosef 343:1]
[8] Birkeiy Yosef 343:4; Kaf Hachaim 343:4; Minchas Yitzchak 1042
The reason: As if in truth the child is a boy he contracts impurity. [This is proven from fact the Rokeiach only allows it due to Safek Sfeika. See previous footnote for the dispute regarding Beis Hablia] Hence, it is proper to initially avoid doing so. [ibid]
[9] As then there is no longer a Safek Sfeika according to the Rokeiach [as learns Birkeiy Yosef ibid], although according to many Poskim this would still remain permitted being that the fetus is considered within a Beis Hablia, as brought from M”A ibid and Radbaz ibid and so is evident from other Poskim mentioned in next footnote] See Even Yisrael 8:77 that deals with this question in regards to giving birth in a hospital that is not careful about Tumas Meis. He concludes there that ultrasounds are not 100% accurate, and that it is for the needs of a Yoledes who is in Sakana and hence she may choose to go to whatever hospital she wishes. Nevertheless, she is not initially to take an ultrasound and hence remove the Safek Sfeika. This is all with regards to which hospital to give birth and does not relate to a pregnant woman entering a Beis Hakevaros if she knows the child is male. It is understood that in such a case there are more Poskim who rule stringently.
[10] Sheilas Yaavetz 2:174 forbids in such a case [as the child may be born]; opinion in Darkei Chesed p. 208; Most Poskim however permit even in such a case, as the Safek Sfeika still remains. [M”B 343:3; Radbaz ibid brought in Pischeiy Teshuvah ibid, that this was the original case of allowance written by the Rokeiach; Betzeil Hachochmah 3:105]
[11] See previous footnotes; and so ruled to me Harav Asher Lemel Cohen that practically it is not accustomed to be stringent.
Children-May one bring children to a cemetery?
There is no Halachic prohibition against bringing children to a grave or cemetery, if the child is not a Kohen. This applies even if the child is of a very young age, such as a newborn.[1] Nevertheless, some are careful to avoid doing so.[2] Practically, one may do so if he so chooses, or in a time of need.
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[1] No such prohibition or warning is mentioned in any of the Poskim
[2] So is accustomed by some families. There is no known source for this adherence, and it is seemingly similar to the adherence of some to not enter a cemetery while pregnant, due to the impurity.
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