- Question: [Monday 4th Kisleiv 5782]
I would like to perform a Hatavas Chalom for bad dreams that I have been suffering from. My question is if I need to personally do it before three men, or if I can send my husband to do so for me?
Seemingly, your husband may do so on your behalf in front of three men.
Explanation: While I have not found anything explicit in the Poskim regarding if a wife can send her husband in her place to perform the Hatavas Chalom, or if the person must show up himself, practically, one can view it similar to the law of revoking a vow in which case we rule that the husband serves as an emissary for his wife, and the same would seemingly apply here to Hatavas Chalom. To note, however, that in general the rule today is to simply ignore the dreams and not make big deals about them, as the making a big deal about the dream, can itself be the cause of damage r”l, and therefore the best thing is to always ignore the dreams and simply trust in Hashem. Nonetheless, someone who feels they need to do Hatavas Chalom for their mental sanity due to their inability to remove their minds from the dreams, then certainly it may be done even today.
Sources: See regarding having a husband do so on behalf of his wife: Piskeiy Teshuvos 220 footnote 22; Michaber Y.D. 228:16; 234:36; See regarding the general rule of doing Hatavas Chalom and fasting by dreams: Michaber O.C. 220:1 “And his soul is Aguma/tormented by it”; Admur 288:3-8; Aruch Hashulchan 220:1; Piskeiy Teshuvos 220:1; See regarding the order of Hatavas Chalom: Michaber 220:1; Kaf Hachaim 220:1-Piskeiy Teshuvos 220:3;