Intimacy when drunk

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I. #7 Bnei Shichrus-Drunk:[1]

One may not have relations with his wife if either of them[2] are drunk.[3] [This applies when one of them drank alcohol to the point that their mind became fuzzy and they cannot think straight.[4] However, prior to reaching this state of drunkenness intimacy is permitted, even if they drank a Revi’is or more.[5] One must especially beware of this matter on Purim, or any other holiday or event, in which one consumes a lot of alcohol.[6] Thus, if Mikveh night occurs on the night of the Seder, one should manage his alcohol intake when drinking the four cups. Likewise, a Chasan by his wedding should not drink too much.] Lack of guarding the above [considers the intimacy as promiscuous[7] and] can lead to having rebellious children [created from that sinful union, or rebellious husbands] who go off the path of Torah and Mitzvos, as stated in A. [Children born from such a union can become alcoholics in their lifetime.[8]]

Pregnant or nursing or past menopause: These restrictions apply even if one’s wife is currently pregnant, or is past menopause [or is nursing, or using a contraceptive], as stated in the introduction above.

Peru Urevu: These restrictions apply even if one has yet to fulfill the Mitzvah of Peru Urevu and is having intimacy for the sake of the Mitzvah, as stated in the introduction above.


[1] Michaber O.C. 240:3; E.H. 25:9; Nedarim 20b; See Sheyikadesh Atzmo [Nachmonson-2015] p.  513-514

[2] Michaber E.H. ibid “Him or her”; M”A 240:11; Kaf Hachaim 240:36; Ra’avad in Ba’alei Hanefesh Sha’ar Hakedusha

[3] The reason: As when one of them is drunk they do not have intent for love but rather for lust. [Ra’avad ibid]

[4] P”M 240 A”A 11; M”B 240:16; Kaf Hachaim 240:36

[5] Poskim in previous footnote

[6] Moed Lekol Chaiy 31:24

[7] Rashi and Ran Nedarim ibid

[8] Sefer Zechira Zivug

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