The severity of intermarriage

The severity of intermarriage

 [Based on Likkutei Sichos Parshas Balak Vol. 8 2nd Sicha[1]]

In Parshas Balak we learned how Pinchas, the son of Elazar, the son of Ahron Hakohen, killed Zimri and Kuzbi, after witnessing them in an immoral act of intimacy. In the beginning of Parshas Pinchas, the Torah tells us that in doing this act, Pinchas avenged the desecration of G-d’s name, and extinguished His wrath from the Jewish people, and prevented their annihilation. As a reward, Pinchas received the Kehuna, and became a Kohen for eternity, for him and his descendants. This story of the assassination of Zimri and Kuzbi, and the eventual reward given to Pinchas, raises several questions. What right did Pinchas have to take the law into his own hands? Doesn’t the Torah require a fair trial, and the fulfilment of certain criteria, such as a warning and witnesses, for a court to dispense capital punishment? Furthermore, being intimate with a gentile woman is not only not considered under the penalty of death in the Torah, but is possibly not even listed as a Biblical prohibition that is part of the 365 negative commands. Now, although there was an oral tradition at Sinai which permits a zealot to kill the perpetrator, on this itself one can ask, why specifically by this sin does Hashem allow a Jew to bypass the judgment of a court? Another matter in question, is the reward received by Pinchas. The Kehuna was given to Ahron and his son Elazar and was made clear that nobody else can become a Kohen. Hashem made a distinct separation between the two classes of society, just as he separated day from night. In fact, Korach a Levite, was punished just for that, for questioning the boundaries between a Kohen and Levi. Thus, why did Hashem choose to reward Pinchas with Kehuna, thus breaking His own borders that He created and seemingly retracting from that which He preached to the Jewish people? These questions lead us through a journey of discovery of the true severity and travesty involved in intermarriage and how it causes the most catastrophic consequences to G-dliness, more than any other sin. In conclusion, we will explore the inner reasons that led Zimri, a tribal leader, to commit such a severe sin in public, and ways in dealing with intermarriage.      



Explorations of the Sicha:

1.      What right did Pinchas have to take justice into his own hands and murder Zimri?

2.      Why is intermarriage viewed with such great severity?

3.      Why was Pinchas granted priesthood in reward for his actions?

4.      Additional explorations: Who was Zimri and what led him to transgress such a severe sin?


The story of Pinchas, Zimri, and Kuzbi in scripture and Chazal:[2]

After the successful battles were waged by the Jewish people against the nations of Sichon and Og, the nation of Moav became stricken with fright of their eventual conquest. Balak, the king of Moav, hired the famous sorcerer, Balaam, to curse the Jewish people, and hence weaken their G-d given power, thus enabling Moav to survive. Chazal[3] state that in fact Balaam was the son of Lavan, and was hence an uncle of the Jewish people. The Arizal states that in fact Balaam was a reincarnation of Lavan.[4] After three failed attempts at cursing the Jewish people, Balaam resorted to advising Balak of a scheme that can lead the Jewish people down the path of severe sins, and hence have them become cursed as a result of their own actions. During the aftermath of the attempted curse of Balak and Bilaam, the Jewish people were settled in an area called Shitim. Balaam gave Balak advice in how to influence G-d to no longer favor the Jewish people, through using their daughters to seduce them and cause them to sin in adultery and idolatry.[5] Balaam suggested that Balak send the daughters of Moav down to the Jewish camp and entice them towards promiscuity. The daughters of Moav would willingly give their bodies over to any Jew who was willing to prostrate himself to their idol of Peor. This would cause the Jewish people to transgress two severe sins; Idolatry and promiscuity. The operation went as planned and many Jews stumbled in sins with the daughters of Moav and in the idolatry of Baal Peor. One particular sinner was the leader of the tribe of Shimon, a man by the name of Zimri, who had taken Kuzbi, the daughter of a Midianite king, to lie with her. In result of the sin, Hashem commanded Moshe to direct all the judges of Israel to hang all the perpetrators of the sin of idolatry.[6] In addition to all those who were hung, a great plague broke out as a result of this sin, in which 24000 people, mainly from the tribe of Shimon, were killed. Pinchas, the son of Elazar, the son of Ahron, upon witnessing this grave public depravity being performed by the tribal leader, took a spear and entered it through the reproductive organs of both Zimri and Kuzbi, instantly killing them. In Parshas Pinchas, Pinchas is praised by Hashem for performing this act, and Hashem states that it extinguished His wrath from the Jewish people, and prevented their annihilation. In reward for this, Pinchas was granted the priesthood, for himself and future descendants. Chazal state that Pinchas then merited to become the famous prophet Eliyahu Hanavi.[7]

The Talmudic description of events:[8]

The Talmud relates the following details of this episode of Zimri and Pinchas: When the tribe of Shimon witnessed the people being killed, they confronted Zimri, who was their leader, to stop sitting idly while their tribe is being killed and do something about the situation. Zimri was the tribal leader of the tribe of Shimon and had four other names; Ben Salu, Shaul, Ben Hakenanis, and Shlumiel Ben Tzurishadaiy. [Accordingly, Zimri was none other than Shmumeil Ben Tzurishadaiy who, as leader of Shevet Shimon, gave the offerings during the inauguration ceremony of the Mishkan, sometime earlier.] Zimri then gathered 24000 tribal members and approached Kuzbi, asking her to acquiesce to him. At first, she resisted, under the claim that she was told to only be intimate with the leader of the Jewish people, which is Moshe. Zimri then took Kuzbi by her pony tail towards Moshe, and asked him whether she is permitted to him in marriage. Zimri challenged Moshe by saying that if Kuzbi is forbidden on to him being that she is a Midianite, then why did Moshe marry a Midianite. Moshe forgot what the Halacha is in this situation, and thus did not reply. Pinchas the son of Elazar, the son of Ahron, was present in this confrontation and replied to Moshe that he was taught by Moshe, after Moshe descended from Sinai, that one who is seen being intimate with a gentile can be killed by a zealot. Interestingly, Pinchas was also a grandson of Yisro, as his mother was a Midinite, a daughter of Yisro. Moshe then instructed Pinchas that since he remembered the verdict, he should be the one to carry it out. Pinchas then schemed a way to kill Zimri while engaged in the act, to avenge this grave public depravity being performed by the tribal leader. He took a spear, removed its metal end, hiding it in his clothing, and entered into the camp of Shimon, using the wooden rod of the spear as a cane. He told the tribe of Shimon that he too was interested in committing sin with the gentile woman, and they thus let him into the area where the depraved acts of Zimri and Kuzbi were transpiring. Zimri that day committed many[9] sessions of intercourse with Kuzbi. Pinchas waited until Zimri would become weak from these acts of intercourse, in order to then kill him without a struggle. He then took out the metal end, attached it to the spear and punctured it through the bodies of Zimri and Kuzbi, instantly killing them. He killed them in midst of the forbidden act and the spear went through their reproductive organs. Hashem made six miracles that day to assist Pinchas in his successful assassination of Zimri.


The questions:

Various questions are raised regarding the above episode:

  1. The sin of Zimri: How did Zimri, a famed and righteous tribal leader, succumb to such depravity and sin? It was not simply a strong Yetzer Hara that caused him to sin, as he performed the act in public and seemed to hold that the act was permitted. How did Zimri come to such a distorted conclusion?
  2. The murder of Zimri: What right did Pinchas have to take the law into his own hands and murder Zimri and Kuzbi? Doesn’t the Torah require a fair trial, and the fulfilment of certain criteria, such as a warning and witnesses, in order for a court to dispense capital punishment? Furthermore, being intimate with a gentile not only is not under the penalty of death in the Torah, but is not even listed as part of the 365 negative commands, unless one marries the gentile, in which case only according to some opinions does the negative command apply.[10] Now, although it is learned from the books of Prophets[11], and ruled in the Talmud[12] and Shulchan Aruch[13] that such an act carries a penalty of Kareis, and the Sages forbade it due to Nashgaz[14], this cannot justify the right to take matters into one’s own hands and murder the perpetrator. So in truth, the Talmud[15] and Poskim[16] record an oral tradition received from Sinai which permits a zealot to kill the perpetrator. The perpetrator may be killed only in the midst of the act[17], and only if the act is done in public, before ten Jews.[18] The zealot is given permission to kill the perpetrator only after warning him.[19] Furthermore, if the zealot asks the Beis Din for a judgement, they may not rule to him that he can kill the perpetrator, and he may only do so on his own accord. Based on all this, although Pinchas certainly had the Halachic right to be a zealot and assassinate Zimri in the act, one can nevertheless question the details of this ruling. on this itself one can ask, why specifically by this sin does Hashem allow a Jew to bypass the judgment of a court and take matters into his own hands? We find no precedent for allowing a person to murder a transgressor, even by those sins that contain capital punishment. What then is unique about this sin? Furthermore, why do we not allow the Beis Din to rule to a person asking that he may kill the perpetrator, and why did the Torah not list the act as one of the 613 negative commands?
  3. The reward of Pinchas: Another matter in question is the reward received by Pinchas. Pinchas, although he was the son of Elazar, and the grandson of Ahron, was not inaugurated into the Kehuna by the original date of inauguration, and he thus remained a regular Levite. The Kehuna was given over to Ahron and his son Elazar and was made clear that nobody else can become a Kohen, as Hashem made a distinct separation between the two classes of society, just as he separated day from night. In fact, Korach a Levite, was punished for just that, for questioning the boundaries between a Kohen and Levi. Thus, why did Hashem choose to reward Pinchas with Kehuna, thus breaking His own borders that He created and seemingly retracting from that which He preached to the Jewish people?

The latter two question can be clarified through introducing the effects of sin on one’s soul and on the G-dliness above.

The effect of a sin:[20]

Every sin and transgression of the negative commands causes holiness and G-dliness to descend into the Kelipos, the sides of evil. Likewise, it causes the holiness and G-dliness found in a Jew’s soul to descend into the Kelipos. This holiness and G-dliness of Hashem and one’s soul is exiled into the Kelipos and actually helps fuel the Kelipos, making them more powerful and more abundant.[21] All evil needs G-dliness to exist, thrive and expand, and when a Jew sins he rejuvenates the Kelipos through exiling into it Holiness and G-dliness. A sin, so to say, ties up Hashem [not His essence, but a ray of Him] and enters Him into captivity. It is for this reason that Chazal state that Hashem is considered like a King who is tied up and entered into a dumpster.[22] There are various levels of sin which vary their effect on G-dliness and the G-dly soul. Every sin corresponds to a different Sefira, and cord in the Divine soul, which it plunges into Kelipa. The quantity and quality of the G-dliness and Divine soul power which enters into Kelipa is dependent on the form of sin. Some sins correspond to the Sefira of Chesed and the power of Chesed of the Divine soul, and plunge that aspect into Kelipa. The sin creates a hole and causes it to drip G-dliness below into the Kleipos. This is why a sin is considered to have punctured the name of Hashem, as written in the verse “Nokeiv Sheim Havaya, as it punctures the vessel of the Sefira which the sin corresponds to. This is also why it states that every sin commits spiritual spilling of blood, as it spills the blood, G-dliness, found in Adam Haelyon, which is Keilim of Atzilus, into the man of Kelipa, Adam Beliyal.[23] Now, in general by all sins, the sin plunges an external power of the G-dly soul into the Kelipos and contaminates it, but does not affect any essential powers of the soul. In the Chassidic jargon, this is called Kochos Hagilyum, versus the Etzem. However, there does exist one set of sins which can affect an essential aspect of the G-dly soul and contaminate it, and that is sins involving the forbidden relations.        


The effect of sins involving forbidden relations:[24]

As explained above, all sins cause G-dliness, and a part of the G-dly soul, to descend into Kelipa, although the quantity and quality of G-dliness varies based on the sin. All sins, other than sins involving forbidden relations, affect an external power of the G-dly soul but not its essence. Sins relating to forbidden relations, however, plunge an essential power of the soul into impurity. The reason for this is because all other speech, thought or action of sin only utilizes an external soul power to enable its performance. Since the essence of the soul is not involved in the act, speech or thought of other sins, it likewise does not descend into the Kelipos and become contaminated. However, in marital relations, the essence of the soul is utilized in the act, in order to reproduce and create a new being which includes every limb and body part of the father. Without the essence, it is not possible to reproduce something from nothing in exact replica of the father. Thus, when one commits a sin involving forbidden relations, he plunges an essential aspect of his soul, which is responsible for his reproductive power, into Kelipos, and contaminates it. Furthermore, in addition to plunging an essential power of one’s G-dly soul into Kelipa, he also plunges an essential level of G-dliness into Kelipa. The reason for this is because there are three partners in the birth of a person; man, woman and G-d. Hashem adds His infinite light to every marital unity, to enable a child to be reproduced. When one sins using his essential soul power contained in reproduction, he also causes the essential level of G-dliness granted to the ability to reproduce, to also be plunged into Kelipos. The severity of such sins thus by far surpass the severity of other forms of sin, in terms of the tremendous contamination it causes to G-dliness, and the G-dly soul. Even so, amongst the sins of forbidden relations, there is one sin of such grave consequences and effects, that it is on a completely different league from other sins, and holds no comparison to any other sin in the Torah. This refers to the sin of intimacy with a gentile woman. 


The effect of a forbidden relation with a gentile woman:[25]

Sins of forbidden relations, although they contaminate an essential level of the soul and of G-dliness, the soul and the G-dliness still retains its holy status. Although the G-dliness and the soul is exiled into the evil, and serves to fuel the evil and increase it, nevertheless, it maintains its status of holiness and awaits its eventual redemption from the Kelipos. [This is similar to a precious gem getting covered over by mounds of dirt, in which case the gem still maintains its essential value.] However, the sin of forbidden relations with a gentile woman, not only contaminates the essential soul power, and an essential level of G-dliness, as do all sins of forbidden relations, but also causes that essential soul power and G-dliness to be actually turned into Kelipa/evil itself. [This is similar to burning and disintegrating a gem into ash and dirt, in which case the gem no longer exists.] The reason for this difference is because by all other prohibited relations, the offspring remains a Jew, and although he or she may be a Mamzer, nonetheless they are obligated to fulfill all Torah and Mitzvos, and contain a G-dly soul. It is even possible for a Mamazer Talmid Chacham to precede a Kohen Am Haaretz. However, the offspring that results from forbidden relations with a gentile woman, is not Jewish, and hence the G-dliness and holiness of the man has been fully transformed into Kelipa. Based on above we can now address the various questions raised above.

The zealousness in avenging the desecration of Hashem’s name:[26]

The reason that the Torah singled out the sin of forbidden relations with a gentile woman, from all other sins, and allowed a zealot to kill the perpetrator in the act, is because there is a desecration of G-dliness and of Hashem’s name that is unparalleled in this sin, over any other sin. When such desecration of an essential power of G-dliness and G-dly soul is being performed in view of the public, the Torah gives authority to a zealot to take vengeance for Hashem and assassinate the man and woman involved. However, the Torah does not allow one to avenge this desecration when the matter is done in private, as in such a case, the desecration is not as severe. Likewise, the Torah only allows one to avenge the desecration in midst of the act, and not before or after, as only when the actual desecration is taking place is there warrant for a zealot to act in vengeance.  

The reason the Torah does not instruct one to be zealous:[27]

The above allowance for a zealot to avenge the desecration of Hashem’s name is not recorded in the written Torah, but rather was received in the oral tradition. Likewise, if a Rabbi is asked, he may not tell the questioner to assassinate the perpetrator, as this is something the person can only do on his own initiative. The reason for this is as follows: The Torah in general does not deal with instruction in how to elevate absolute evil to Holiness, but rather in how one can elevate the medium level of good and evil, called Kelipas Noga, into good and holiness. However, actual evil from scriptures perspective can never be elevated, and thus scripture instructs a person to avoid evil, which makes up the 365 negative commands. Nonetheless, there does exist a way to elevate actual evil, and that is through Teshuvah. While it is certainly forbidden to transgress Torah and commit a sin, if one did so, Teshuvah is an option that helps the person not only return to Hashem, but even elevate the evil to Holiness. On this Chazal say that a Baal Teshuvah stands even higher than a Tzaddik, as through his Teshuva he has elevated complete evil, which a Tzadik who has not transgressed cannot do. Being the Torah does not deal with elevating complete evil, it therefore omits this power of Teshuvah from scripture. The same applies regarding a sin. In general, the Torah discusses how a Jew can descend holiness into evil through sinning, but not how a Jew can transform Holiness into evil. This is why the Torah does not discuss this sin of forbidden relations with a gentile woman, as it involves turning holiness into evil. The fact that it is omitted is not because it is not Biblically forbidden, or not so severe, but on the contrary, it is so severe that it carries a new league of evil that even scripture can’t deal with. This is also why the Rabbi cannot instruct the asker to kill the perpetrator, as a Rabbi must rule according to scripture, and scripture does not deal with sins of this caliber. [Accordingly, we can also understand why this sin is not listed as one of the 613 negative commands, as its severity is so great that it surpasses the normal category of sins that are listed. Based on this, no leniency can be learned from the fact the Torah may not list intermarriage as one of the 613 commands, as it is precisely because its prohibition is so great that it cannot to be on the usual list.]     



The reason Pinchas received the Kehuna as reward:[28]

The reason Pinchas was rewarded for his righteous act with the Kehuna, is because this reward parallels his action, and is Mida Kineged Mida. One who sins with a gentile woman breaks the boundaries between holiness and evil, and causes holiness to become evil. Pinchas stopped this breaking of boundaries in the act, through killing the perpetrators. As a result, Pinchas got rewarded with receiving an elevation of status, which broke the boundaries between Kehuna and the rest of the Jewish people. Since he saved Hashem’s boundaries between Kedusha and Kelipa, he therefore was rewarded with leaping into a new boundary of Kedusha, which cannot be granted otherwise.  


The inner soul connection between Zimri and Kuzbi:

In light of all the above, the question as to how Zimri, a righteous leader of a tribe, can come to commit such a severe sin, becomes all the more intensified. To try to understand this matter we must introduce a journey of reincarnations discussed in Sifrei Kabala, which then give perspective to the situation that Zimri and Kuzbi found themselves in.

In Kabala[29] it explains that Zimri and Kuzbi were reincarnations of Shechem and Dina. The Sefer Asara Mamaros[30] writes as follows: Shechem felt a tremendous love and passion for Dina, as described in scripture, and this feeling came due to an inner soul connection which he had with Dina. Now, how does a gentile share a soul connection with a Jewess? This is because often there is Kedusha hidden within Kelipa, and this Kedusha that was hidden in Shechem had an inner soul connection with Dina and desired to be elevated and purified. [We find similarly regarding conversion, that a gentile who converts is said to have already had a G-dly soul designated for him even prior to conversion, and it is precisely because of this connection with his G-dly soul that he was driven to conversion.[31]] Acting on his passion, he violated Dina and wished to take her as a wife. Dina also felt this connection after her initial violation, and hence Chazal state that she did not want to leave her companionship with Shechem until Shimon promised to marry her. Shimon eventually married Dina, and they had a child who they called Shaul Ben Hakenanis. This person was none other than Zimri.[32] This child was born with the reincarnated soul of Shechem, who Shimon had earlier killed. In revenge of the acts of Shechem, Shimon had also killed 24000 inhabitants of the city. Hashem planned to set up these two individuals, Dina and Shechem, as well as the 24000 men of Shechem, a second time, and place them to a challenge of forbidden relations, and see if they would overcome their previous mistakes. [Although a soul connection did exist between Dina and Shechem, this did not warrant permission for them to be together, as the time of purification for Shechem had not yet arrived.[33]] After Dina’s death, her soul became reincarnated into Kuzbi, and Hashem then arranged for her to meet Zimri, which was in truth the soul of Shechem. The 24000 men of Shechem were reincarnated into the 24000 men of the tribe of Shimon who encouraged Zimri to sin. When Zimri and Kuzbi met, they once again had a tremendous passion for each other and were driven to be together by some unexplainable force. Unfortunately, they did not surpass the test, and succumbed to their inclination, in sin, causing them and the 24000 men of Shimon to die. Now, what led Zimri, a righteous leader, to give into such an inclination? The Mei Shiloach[34] explains that this was because Zimri had prophetic vision, seeing that Kuzbi shared a soul connection with him, contained holiness and would eventually receive a portion in the world to come. That in fact this was very similar to the reason for the marriage of Moshe and Tzipora. Tzipora was also a Midinite woman. Why then did Moshe agree to marry her? This is because he saw in prophecy that she had Holiness within her and would receive a portion in the world to come. Moshe therefore decided to attach to this holiness by marrying her, after conversion. Zimri however, jumped the gun, and became intimate with Kuzbi prior to her conversion, before her sublimation to holiness. The Asara Mamaors does not elaborate further on the journey of these two souls, although it is further discussed in the writings of the Arizal. Rav Chaim Vital[35] explains that the souls of Dina and Shechem, and Zimri and Kuzbi, were later reincarnated into the famous sage, Rebbe Akiva, and the wife of a Roman Aristocrat by the name of Turensrufus. The Talmud[36] writes that the wife of Turensrufes, who was a most beautiful woman, once decided to seduce Rebbe Akiva and make him fall into sin. Rebbe Akiva in response to her gestures spat, laughed and cried. He laughed because he saw in prophetic vision that he would eventually convert her and marry her. This is precisely what occurred. After Rebbe Akiva’s refusal to succumb to her wishes, the wife of Turensrufis decided to convert, and after Rachel’s passing, Rebbe Akiva married her. The journey of the two souls finally came to a proper ending, in which the soul of Dina and Shechem became united in a Kosher way through the marriage of Rebbe Akiva and the wife of Turensrufis, after her conversion, thus elevating the holiness Shechem back to its holy root. A further connection we find between Rebbe Akiva and Shechem, is that Rebbe Akiva had 24000 students who died, which corresponds to the 24000 men of Shechem and of the tribe of Shimon who also died.         




·         Intermarriage has a become a true epidemic. One should be aware of the grave severity involved in this, which far surpasses any other sin, and one must try to influence those involved to desist from pursuing such a relationship. One is to use every argument possible to convince the couple to break their connection.[37]

·         In a case that one knows a couple of whom one of the spouses is not Jewish, and one is unable to persuade them to leave each other, one should see if it is possible to encourage or persuade the non-Jewish person involved to properly convert in a Kosher manner and become an observant Jew. While in perhaps the clear majority of cases the gentile in question, even if he agrees to convert, is not committed to lead a true life of Torah observance, in which case the conversion is invalid, and the gentile remains a gentile[38], nevertheless, there are cases in which the gentile sincerely becomes a Ger Tzedek, and leads a Kosher Jewish life with his/her Jewish spouse. Many Poskim[39], as well as the Chabad Rabbeim[40], encouraged one to help covert such a gentile, if he will be sincere and committed to Torah observance. In all cases, one should seek the advice of a Dayan who deals with such issues, and follow his guidance. 




[1] Important note: While the general gist of questions and answers brought here are taken from the Sicha, many additions have been added by the author. To see the exact segments written in the original Sicha, please refer to the original.

[2] Bamidbar 25/1

[3] Sanhedrin 105a

[4] Shaar Hagilgulim Hakdama 22

[5] Bamidbar 31/16 “They were to Bnei Yisrael in the advice of Bilaam”; Sanhedrin 106a; Rashi 25/1

[6] Rashi ibid explains that 157000 people were killed by the judges, in addition to the 24,000. See however Ramban ibid who argues.

[7] Targum Yonasaon; Bava Metzia 114b; Yalkut Pinchas; Likkutei Sichos 3; Ralbag

[8] Sanhedrin 82a-b

[9] The Talmud ibid offers two opinions: Some say he committed 424 acts of intercourse while others say he committed 60 acts of intercourse.

[10] See Tur and Shulchan Aruch Even Haezer chapter 16 [Michaber 16/a] that according to all opinions, a promiscuous act with a gentile woman or man is not under the negative command of “Thou shall not marry them” and one does not receive Biblical Malkus for doing so. Furthermore, even marrying a gentile is debated in Rishonim and Poskim as to whether it is considered part of the negative command of “Thou shall not marry them. Some Poskim rule it is included in the negative command. [Rambam brought in Tur ibid; Michaber 16/1] Other Poskim however rule it is not included in the negative command, as the negative command refers only to the seven Canaanite nations. [Tur 16; Rama 16/1] 

[11] Malachi 2/11

[12] Sanhedrin 82a

[13] Michaber 16/2

[14] This stands for Nida, Shifcha, Goya, Zona. The Sages consider it as if one transgressed all these four prohibition if one had an act of intercourse with a gentile woman. [Sanhedrin ibid; Michaber 16/2]

[15] Mishneh Sanhedrin 81b and Gemara 82a

[16] Michaber 16/2; Rama 16/2; Rama Choshen Mishpat 425/4; Tur 425/9; Rambam Issurei Biya 12

[17] Rama in Choshen Mishpat 425/4; Rebbe Yochanon in Sanhedrin ibid

[18] Rama 16/2 and Choshen Mishpat 425/7; Avoda Zara 36b

[19] Rama Choshen Mishpat 425/7; Raavad on Rambam ibid

[20] See Tanya Igeres Hateshuvah 5-7;  

[21] Igeres Hateshuva

[22] Tanya chapter 31; 45; Igeres Hateshuvah chapter 7

[23] Likkutei Sichos 2 Hosafos Elul

[24] Likkutei Sichos 8 Balak 2

[25] Likkutei Sichos 8 Balak 2

[26] Likkutei Sichos 8 Balak 2

[27] Likkutei Sichos 8 Balak 2

[28] Likkutei Sichos 8 Balak 2

[29] See Yalkut Reuveini Vayishlach p. 59; Asara Mamaros p. 93a; Midrash Talpiyos Giulgulim; Gilgulei Neshamos of Rameh of Puno

[30] Asara Mamaros p. 93a, brought in Yalkut Reuveini ibid

[31] See Or Hachaim Hakadosh beginning of Parshas Ki Seitzei

[32] Asara Mamaros ibid; Yalkut Reuveii ibid; Midrash Talpiyos; However see Gilgulei Neshamos of Rameh of Puno that he was born before Dina was with Shimon

[33] See Mei Shiloach Pinchas

[34] Parshas Pinchas

[35] Sefer Hagilgulim 66; Rameh in Sefer Hagilguilim; Chesed Leavarahm Mayan 3/23

[36] Avoda Zara 20a

[37] See Igros Kodesh of the Rebbe Rayatz letter 2848 that the parent should threaten to cut off relations if need be; In letters of the Rebbe we find that the Rebbe stressed to the couple that the marriage would not work, and will be a cause of pain for both sides.

[38] See Igros Moshe Y.D. 1/157-159; 3/106

[39] See Mishpitei Uziel 2/53; Mayim Chaim 2/108; Milameid Lehoil Y.D. 83; Achiezer 3/26 and 28; Tuv Taam Vadaas Kama 230; Teshuvas Harmabam in Peir Hador 132

Other opinions: Some Poskim rule one is not to encourage or accept such conversions, due to the ruling in Michaber Y.D. 268. [See Kiryat Chana 2/17; Igros Moshe Y.D. 1/157-159; 3/106; Tzitz Eliezer 5/15]

[40] See Igros Kodesh of the Rebbe Rayatz volume 9 letter 3268 and 3271 that one is to encourage the gentile to convert; Rabbi Leibal Groner wrote to me that “Numerous times the rebbe encouraged that the non Jewish individual should be megayer kehalocho before the marriage or if it was not done before to do it as soon as possible.” 

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