Restaurant Halachas – Selected Halachos relevant when eating in a restaurant

Restaurant Halachas – Selected Halachos relevant when eating in a restaurant:

1. Orach Chaim – Derech Eretz:

Not staring at another’s food:[1] One may not stare at another person who is eating.           Likewise one may not stare at someone else’s plate.

Not licking one’s fingers:[2] One should not lick his fingers when he eats. Although eating with one’s hands is sometimes acceptable[3], by certain foods, nonetheless, one should not lick the food from his fingers, and is rather to use a napkin and the like to clean them. This certainly applies when eating with a fork and knife, and one just happened to get food on his fingers.

1. Yoreh Deah – Kashrus:

The Hashgacha: The most important aspect to consider when choosing a restaurant is the Rabbinical Kashrus supervision which oversees the establishment. There are many differences in policies between different Hashgacha’s, especially between those that are not Mehadrin. There are likewise differences regarding levels of expertise and strictness of supervision which influences whether a certain rabbi certification is reliable. It is beyond the scope of this article to discuss all the details and we will suffice with mentioning the following which may be applicable even by a Mehadrin restaurant.

Bishul Yisrael: Those who are particular [especially Sephardim] to follow the opinion of the Beis Yosef who rules that a Jew must actually place the food over the fire and simply igniting it does not suffice to avoid the prohibition of Bishul Akum[4], should verify this policy with the restaurant beforehand [i.e. is it Bishul Yisrael Lefi Habeit Yosef?]. For the most part however all Mehadrin Hashgachas are particular in this matter, while many if not all regular Hashgachas are not particular in this matter.

Yayin Nesech: In order to avoid issues of Yayin Nesech and a Gentile looking at one’s wine[5], it is best to purchase only Mevushal wine, as there are often workers and customers present who are not Jewish. However, one who is not particularly regarding a Gentile seeing the wine, and desires to drink non-Mevushal wine, may do so, so long as he is particular that an observant Jew opens the bottle and pours it for him.[6]

Wineglasses: The Halacha is that if one desires to drink wine from a vessel which had Yayin Nesech drunk from it then it requires Shichshuch prior to its use.[7] Accordingly, if one is drinking wine in a wineglass in a restaurant, it is best for one to rinse the glass cup three times prior to pouring wine into it, as it is possible that they served non-Mevushal wine to a gentile in that cup.

1. Even Haezer – Tzenius:

Men being served by a waitress: The Poskim[8] debate whether it is valid for a man to be served by a female waitress, especially if she will be serving wine or another alcoholic beverage. Practically, however, the widespread custom is to be lenient.[9] [One however should try to close his eyes, or look away, when being served.[10] It is certainly proper to avoid being served wine and other alcoholic beverages by a woman, which is forbidden from the letter of the law according to some opinions.[11]]

Kol Isha playing in background:[12] One is not required to leave, or not enter an area that contains a woman singing. One may thus enter a restaurant even though the radio is on with a woman singing. He is however required to remove his mind from the voice and pay no attention to it. If one sees that despite his efforts it is leading him to immoral thoughts, he is to leave the area.

1. Choshen Mishpat – Monetary laws:

Bringing a beverage to drink in the restaurant: From the letter of the law, there is no intrinsic Halachic prohibition for one to bring his own drinks into a restaurant if he does not desire to pay the typically exorbitant restaurant price for a beverage. Nevertheless, this comes with several qualifications: 1) It is considered a matter of Derech Eretz and common courtesy for a person to benefit his host and to purchase beverages from him, even if he happens to have his own beverage and certainly based on this he should not purposely buy a beverage elsewhere where it is cheaper and then enter it into the restaurant to drink.[13] 2) Many restaurants have a policy which don’t allow outside food or drink, including bottled water, both due to Kashrus reasons as well as due to that they make a significant portion of their profit from selling drinks. Each place has its own policy, and hence it would be advised to ask. If the restaurant does have such a policy then it would be both legally[14] and Halachically[15] forbidden for a person to break this policy. [Nonetheless it is worthy to note that in Israel every restaurant, eatery, or similar place that serves food must provide each customer with a free pitcher of cold drinking water. Charging for the water is prohibited. Violating this obligation is a criminal offense punishable by a fine.[16]]

Paying for your meal even if lousy: Contrary to popular opinion often rooted in a sense of consumer entitlement, one remains Halachically obligated to pay for his meal even if he feels that the food or service or venue was not up to his liking or not worth its value, so long as the food was not considered blemished to the point of being inedible in which case it would be a Mekach Taus.[17] Likewise, if one was served something else than that which was described on the menu, or received a different order, then so long as he did not eat the food, he’s not obligated to pay. However, eating some or most of one’s food would generally forfeit any monetary claim.[18] [Legally speaking, in most countries—including Israel, the U.S., and the U.K.—you are generally required to pay for a meal at a restaurant, even if the food or service was poor, unless the food is truly inedible or not as described. Lack of doing so could be considered “theft of services.”]

Gratuities – giving a tip: It is a Halachic obligation to leave a tip for a person who provided a service, in all cases that doing so is universally accepted in one’s area, or was conditioned prior to ordering the service.[19] Accordingly, one is obligated to leave a tip for the waiter [whether Jewish or not[20]] in those countries[21] in which doing so is the universal practice.[22] The amount given is left to one’s discretion, although may not be less than the minimum accepted amount. [Many restaurants explicitly write on the menu that their service does not include a gratuity fee, and hence it may be obligatory and legally enforced. However, in Israel, consumer laws do not obligate one to pay more than the listed price, even on such conditions.[23] Nonetheless, even in Israel this may not be an exemption from a Halachic obligation if so is the accepted practice.] 

[1] Michaber 170:9; Ketzos Hashulchan 26:5

[2] Miseches Derech Eretz Zuta 5; Rokeiach 329; Reishis Chochmah Shaar Hanava 7:5; Elya Raba 170:23; Chesed Lealafim 170:5; Kaf Hachaim [Falagi] 22:63; Aruch Hashulchan 170:7; Ben Ish Chaiy Behar 1:9; Kaf Hachaim 170:72; Ketzos Hashulchan 39:3; Piskeiy Teshuvos 170:14

[3] See Nedarim 49b; Shelah Shaar Haosiyos Kuf

[4] See Michaber and Rama Y.D. 113:6-7; Taz 113:6 and 8; Shach 113:12; Kaf Hachaim 113:53; Rav Poalim Y.D. 3:9; Pesakim Uteshuvos 113:16-17

[5] Sefer Taamei Hamitzvos of Rav Menachem Habavli L.S. 360; Midrash Talpiyos Anaf Yayin p. 206; Mamar Yayin Hameshumar p. 18 of Rav Nasan Shapiro; Minchas Sotah p. 415 [custom of Titwan]; Shlah Hakadosh Shaar Haosiyos Kelal 94 Kedushas Hachila 106 p. 77; Yifei Laleiv 5 Y.D. 123:1; Ruach Chaim Falagi 131:2; Zivcheiy Tzedek 3:165; Ben Ish Chaiy Balak 16; Darkei Teshuvah 123:2; Dovev Meisharim 1:124; Kinyan Torah 6:64  

[6] See Michaber Y.D. 124:18; 126:5

[7] Michaber 135:1 [regarding general rule] and Michaber 137:4 that the allowance to use without Shichshuch is only by non-wine beverages; See Shach 137:15-16

The reason: As the Yayin Nesech wine taste absorbed in the cup gives taste to the wine, and is not nullified in it even in 100x. [See Shach 137:15-16]

[8] See Michaber and Rama Even Haezer 21:5

The debate: A woman may not serve a man an alcoholic beverage [i.e. Mezigas Hakos, although she may serve him other foods and beverages]. [Michaber 21:5; Tur 21:5; Rambam Issurei Biyah 21:5; Kiddushin 70a “Shmuel says, one may not use a woman at all, whether young or old” and 81a; Yerushalmi Kesubos 5:6] Some Poskim rule that even other foods may not be served, just like is the law by one whose wife is a Nida. [See Rama ibid in name of Binyamin Zev; Beis Shmuel 21:9; Ezer Mikodesh 21:5] Some  are lenient in this as they say the above action of affection is only forbidden to be done by one’s wife who is a Nida, while by another woman it is permitted to do so. Other Poskim  rule it is only forbidden to do it in private, while in a public area it is permitted. Other Poskim  rule that so long as one is not intending to have these actions done as a form of affection and rather his intent is Lesheim Shamayim, then it is permitted to do so. [Rama ibid]

[9] See Beis Shmuel 21:9 [in next footnote] that the leniency of the Rama is not with regards to Mezigas Hakos, however see Ezer Mikodesh 21:5 that states the custom is to be lenient even regarding using a woman as a waitress and they rely on the other Heterim listed here, such as that it does not apply when one is in public. So also rules the Aruch Hashulchan 21:7 that when the woman is offering the food in a way of Sheirus, it is permitted to do even Mezigas Hakos.

[10] Ezer Mikodesh 21:5

[11] As according to the Beis Shmuel ibid the Rama’s Heter does not apply in such a case.

[12] See Sdei Chemed Kelalim Mareches Kuf 42; Ohel Yaakov 76 [p. 203] in name of Poskim; See Admur 75:6 based on previous Poskim “Even by the singing voice of a woman, if one is able to concentrate on his prayer to the point that he does not even consciously hear or pay attention to her voice, then it is permitted [to learn and Daven while hearing it].” And certainly it is permitted to be in the area.

[13] See Midrash Tanchuma Chukas 12 (35) “It should have said ‘water from cisterns,’ but the Torah teaches you proper conduct: when one travels in a land not his own, even if he has provisions, he should not use them, but rather purchase from the local shopkeeper to benefit him. So said Moses: ‘We have our own well and our own manna, but we will not use them—we will buy from you, so that you may profit”; Rashi Chukas 20:17 “And we will not drink water from a well” – It should have said ‘from cisterns,’ but this is what Moses meant: ‘Even though we have manna to eat and a well to drink from, we will not use them. Instead, we will purchase food and water from you for your benefit.’ From here we learn that a guest, even if he has his own provisions, should buy from the local shopkeeper in order to benefit his host. ‘The king’s highway we will go’ – meaning, we will not deviate to the right or left.”; See also Rashi Bereishis 13:3and Erechin 16b that one should not change from his Achsanya, hence looking out for ways to benefit it

[14] In Israel and the USA, restaurants are generally private businesses and can set their own management policies, including not allowing outside food or drinks, even water bottles. It’s not a legal requirement to allow outside beverages, and businesses have the right to establish policies that they feel best serve their operations and clientele. So, if a restaurant decides to disallow outside water bottles, it’s within their rights to do so and they retain the right to ask someone to leave if they are not obeying their policy. There is no legal obligation to post a sign stating that bringing in outside food and drink is prohibited. Thus, if the restaurant prohibits it, it is entitled to enforce its policy, even if no sign is displayed. [See Consumer Protection Law (Amendment No. 45), 5776–2016 known as the “Popcorn Law.” This amendment prohibits certain businesses—like movie theaters, sports venues, and performance halls—from preventing customers from bringing in food or drink of the same type sold at the venue. The law was designed to protect consumers from being forced to purchase overpriced snacks and drinks at such locations. It however explicitly excludes restaurants! https://main.knesset.gov.il/News/PressReleases/pages/press290316o.aspx]

[15] See regarding that a guest must obey every command of his host: Michaber 170:5; Tur 170; Miseches Deech Eretz Raba 6; Ketzos Hashulchan 26:1

[16] https://shorturl.at/G0TaK

[17] See Michaber C.M. 232:6 that the blemish must be significant enough that most people would return it; 232:3 regarding general law; 230:7 regarding spoiled beer; 232:16 regarding spoiled cheese; 232:19 regarding bloody eggs

[18] Michaber C.M. 232:3; See Pischeiy Teshuvah ibid 232:1

[19] See Michaber C.M. 331:1; Bava Metzia 83a; Rashba 2:168 that a Minhag overrides a Halacha in monetary matters; Rivash 171; 475; Chacham Tzevi 61

The reason: As whenever one hires another to do work for him all the accustomed work obligations and rights are assumed to have been agreed on and obligated on by the employer, and all business conditions set by two sides are Halachically binding. [See Michaber ibid] Accordingly, it is not the secular law that creates the Halachic obligation but rather the Minhag Hamedina. [Article of Rav Shpurn in Hayashar Vehatov ibid]

[20] See Beir Moshe 3:117; Shraga Hameir 7:155; Ateres Paz C.M. 1:3-12

[21] Tipping a waiter is not universally accepted, it varies significantly by country and culture.

United States: Tipping is expected and forms a significant part of a server’s income, with 15–20% of the bill being standard.

Israel: Tipping is common—usually 10–15%—but not legally required.

Canada: Similar to the U.S., tipping 15–20% is customary in restaurants and cafes.

France: A service charge is typically included in the bill, but leaving extra change is optional and seen as a kind gesture.

Japan: Tipping is not practiced and may even be considered rude; good service is simply expected.

South Korea: Tipping is generally not expected in restaurants.

United Kingdom: A service charge may be added to the bill; otherwise, tipping around 10–15% is customary.

Australia: Tipping is not expected, though it can be offered for exceptional service.

[22] See Mivakshei Torah 5760 and Tuvcha Yabiu 2:107 that Rav Elyashiv ruled not tipping a waiter is Chashash stealing; However see Asher Chanan 7:151 regarding tipping waiters that doing so is not an obligation, as by nature it is given to the discretion of the customer; Furthermore, based on the Israeli law, it would seem that there is no Halachic obligation to give a tip, even if the universal practice is to do so, as the law prohibits making this an obligation, and that is the Minhag Medina.

[23] In Israel, the law prohibits a seller from adding further fees to a listed price, and hence legally one is not obligated to pay gratuity fees for restaurant orders, if it was not included in the listed price. [See Chok Haganat Hatzarchan law 17a] This matter has been brought to Israeli secular courts and they have heavily fined restaurants who included a service fee in the final bill, in addition to the listed price of the foods.